


which future

by naegajams (Orangeiskindamyjam)



Category: SEVENTEEN (Band)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Soulmates, Angst??, M/M, Reincarnation, Sad with a Happy Ending, They meet a lot but they're never on time
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-08-24
Updated: 2018-08-24
Packaged: 2019-07-01 02:44:02
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,086
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15764985
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Orangeiskindamyjam/pseuds/naegajams
Summary: ah, but i don't blame you; i'll never burn as brilliantly as you.it's only fair that i should be the one to chase you across ten, twenty-five, a hundred lifetimes, until i find the one where you'll return to me.(otherwise known as the reincarnation fic where Soonyoung and Jihoon never meet throughout all their lifetimes together)





	which future

**Author's Note:**

> happy birthday ate pam! i hope you like it :)))
> 
> based on [ this ](http://www.shousetsubangbang.com/mirror/25-lives/) beautiful work of art. thank you ate aby for sending this to mar and i uwu

 

_The very first time I remember you, you are blonde, and you don’t love me back._

 

Jihoon’s soulmate has blonde hair.

 

He choreographs for the Performing Arts Department in his free time and runs a dance workshop on the weekends. He can’t eat chicken without clothes because he raised some before when he was young. He likes anime and he loves Shinee.

 

Jihoon’s soulmate goes by the name of Kwon Soonyoung—

—and he is Jihoon’s homeroom teacher.

 

“Lee Jihoon, can you answer the question on the board please?”

 

Jihoon stares at the words on the board, the words swimming around in his vision. It’s strange being in love with your teacher. He could understand if it was a small crush but no, fate decided to play him like this.

 

He says the answer of the question on the board, his teacher grinning at him when he answers correctly. Jihoon sits back down on his seat and rests his head on his forearms, letting his soulmate’s warm voice lull him to sleep while he talks.

 

Kwon Soonyoung is surprised when Lee Jihoon suddenly transfers schools in the middle of the year.

 

 

 

_The next time you are brunette, and you do._

 

 

 

Kwon Soonyoung is in love with Lee Jihoon.

 

Actually, all of Korea is in love with him as well.

 

Soonyoung’s not lying in that aspect; Lee Jihoon is loved by many for his wonderful songs and lyrics. Korea has hailed him as the Nation’s Little Brother, for his youthful image and positive image adds up to his inspirational works.

 

Lee Jihoon has an amazing voice, one worthy of being a herald of the seraphim. His voice curls around you like angel’s wings, making you feel as if you’re floating on clouds. He sings of love and joy and friendship and his voice makes you believe in the beauty of the world.

 

Kwon Soonyoung is in love with Lee Jihoon.

 

It’s the man’s concert today, and Soonyoung is lucky enough to have garnered a ticket to attend. He sings and cheers along to Jihoon’s songs, waving his hands up with his fellow fans. The lightstick feels heavy but Soonyoung holds it aloft, a testament of the torch he’s carrying in his heart.

 

“I love you all. Thank you for your support,” Jihoon smiles, concluding his ending ment.

 

Soonyoung says it back with just as much conviction, “I love you.”

 

Kwon Soonyoung is in love with Lee Jihoon. He says it in his heart, in his mind and out loud every single time that he can.

 

Because he knows he’ll never get the chance to do so in this lifetime as well.

 

Jihoon dyes his hair blonde for his next comeback. Soonyoung wonders if he remembers _them._

 

 

_After a while I give up trying to guess if the color of your hair means anything._

 

 

 

Kwon Soonyoung is a pre-school teacher. He handles a class of twenty adorable children and he loves each one of them to death. 

 

So when he sees one of his students crying during recess instead of playing outside with all the other kids, Soonyoung knows he has to intervene. 

 

"Hansol-ah," Soonyoung says with a small frown. He approaches the silent boy sitting alone in his desk, wondering why he's not playing with the other kids. "Is there something wrong?"

 

"Seonsaengnim," Hansol whispers, his voice so soft and brittle that Soonyoung has to crouch down in order to hear. "Something happened yesterday."

 

"What is it, Hansol-ah?" The teacher asks, gently touching his student's shoulder when he sees him shake. The young boy fiddles with his hands for a few seconds before he finally looks at Soonyoung in the eye.

 

"My father died."

 

Soonyoung sucks in a harsh breath as he cradles Hansol near, the young boy fisting the back of Soonyoung's shirt. "He died yesterday and I never got to say goodbye. I saw him before he left for work and he promised we’d watch Star Wars together when he returns from work but—”

 

“He didn’t come home.” Soonyoung’s shoulder is damp and Hansol is tightly gripping the underside of his arm. “My father is dead, seonsaengnim and I'm never going to see him again.”

 

He splays a warm hand on the small of Hansol’s back, letting his young student cry on his shoulder for the remainder of recess. Soonyoung should probably tell the guidance mentors about this so that they can counsel Hansol if needed.

 

What was the name of Hansol’s father again?

 

“Hansol-ah,” Soonyoung says, once the young boy has calmed down. The students would be returning any time soon and Soonyoung needs to ask him before class starts. “What’s the name of your father?”

 

He blinks up at him, eyes red and puffy. His lips tremble as he says the name but he puts on a brave face, “Lee Jihoon, seonsaengnim.”

 

_Lee Jihoon._

 

“Ah.” Soonyoung can feel his heart drop. “I see.”

 

The bell trills it’s midday melody, the students are now returning to their seats and giggling as they enter the room. Soonyoung sees Hansol wipe his face clean and smile brightly to his friend, Seungkwan, when he arrives. The teacher leaves Hansol in Seungkwan’s careful hands, watching Hansol laugh at whatever recount Seungkwan has to offer today.

 

_Lee Jihoon._

 

“I guess we’re not meeting in this lifetime.”

 

 

 

 

_Because even when you don’t exist, I’m always in love with you._

 

 

 

“Lee, we have a new case brought in: vandalism, two young juvenile males. Could you type up the other kid’s report before you leave for patrol?”

 

Jihoon looks up from his computer, the starchiness of his shirt making his badge poke against his chest. “Sure thing, Chief.”

 

He watches the young boy lumber to a stop in front of his desk before plopping messily on the chair. The boy peeks at him through dark bangs, shirt covered in scuff marks as if he got into a fight earlier.

 

Jihoon nods at the boy, “What’s your name kid?”

 

“I’m not a kid,” he petulantly answers, his eyes narrowing when he stares at Jihoon. The policeman can feel him judging his age already.

 

“Yes, you are. Now answer my question,” Jihoon rolls his eyes. He makes a show of cracking his knuckles in order to intimidate the young man. “What’s your name?”

 

A small huff. And then, “Kwon Soonyoung.”

 

Jihoon stops typing. His chest hurts when he realizes what this means. He can’t believe fate is messing with him once again.

 

He glances at the young boy sitting in front of him before shaking his head and continuing the report. “Why did you spray paint a graphic image over someone’s house and car, Soonyoung?”

 

“Because they deserved it,” Soonyoung shrugs. Jihoon can’t believe this boy is his soulmate.

 

“And why do you say that?”

 

The young boy looks at him dead in the eye. He frowns, “They made fun of me because I haven’t met my soulmate yet.”

 

Soonyoung looks down and picks at the dirty marks on his shirt. It looks like dried blood. “I’ve tried everything that I could to remember their name or even their _face_ ; but no such luck. I just want to meet them, you know? Meet the person who I could be happy with for the rest of my life.”

 

“I’m sorry kid, but you can’t just vandalize someone’s stuff just because you want to find your soulmate. There are rules for a reason.”

 

“You don’t understand,” Soonyoung shakes his head. He thumps his arm on the side of Jihoon’s desk. “I haven’t gotten a single sign from them. I probably don’t have a soulmate or worse, they’re already dead and I’ll be alone in this lifetime.”

 

Jihoon’s chest is prickling, only this time it’s not because of his police badge. “Kid, it might be best to not obsess over your soulmate now. I think you should stop searching for a while.”

 

He watches the young boy deflate at his words but nod his agreement anyway. Jihoon swallows the lump in his throat and finishes typing up the report. 

 

 

 

 

_I love how you play along with my bad ideas, before you grow up and realize they’re bad ideas._

 

 

 

It’s Monday morning when Soonyoung sees the news.

 

He slept in, back aching from pulling an all-nighter trying to meet his deadline on a paper. He switches the TV on as background noise while he gets ready for his 10 am class.

 

Soonyoung heats up some leftover pasta and parks his butt on the couch, staring blankly at the screen. The news channel switches to another reporter, a young, despondent woman who is now talking about a suicide that happened in one of Soonyoung’s neighboring universities.

 

He cries when he sees the face plastered on the screen.

 

“Lee Jihoon, 22, studying in Seoul National University was found dead in his apartment last Sunday morning. Authorities have ruled it as suicide.”

 

Soonyoung doesn’t go to class that day.

 

 

 

 

_(And in our times together, I have many bad ideas.)_

_Yet, always, you forgive me._

 

 

Jihoon hates his job.

 

It’s only part-time at a local convenience store and he’s only doing it after classes but he still hates it. His co-workers are fine; Wonwoo keeps to himself in the back and Junhui takes care of all the manual labour needed.

 

Jihoon is in charge of the register and he’s grateful that his station has a stool in which he could sit on. He would die if he had to stand the entire afternoon, beeping out chips and sodas for young, bubbly high schoolers and cigarettes and condoms for the tired university students.

 

He’s going to ask Junhui to throw out all their stock of Pepsi in the back if he sees one more person buy them instead of Coca Cola. Jihoon is tired of all the bubble-gum smacking, lip glossed, starry eyed teens hanging around the store in order to benefit from the cheap aircon powering it.

 

It’s useless anyway since they hang around the open doors, making the hot, summer air infiltrate the store’s cool interior. Jihoon really wants them to leave.

 

He’s playing a game on his phone, Wonwoo napping in the storage room and Junhui sneaking snacks into his black hole of a stomach. The automatic doors open once again and Jihoon can feel his skin prickle at the hot gust of wind that blows into the store.

 

Jihoon looks up with a frown on his face, fully expecting another obnoxious, Pepsi-loving teen to enter when he stops short with his glare.

 

The person enters the shop in a flurry, his coat draped around one arm as his dress shoes makes loud, clacking sounds on the floor. Jihoon watches the man hurriedly peruse the chips aisle and hears his loud exclamation of, “Found it!” when he grabs a pack of gummies of the shelf.

 

The gummies are accompanied by two bottles of coca cola and Jihoon nods his head at the man’s choice of beverage. The man brings them to the counter, after making a small detour and grabbing two packs of instant ramen as well.

 

Jihoon hasn’t gotten a good look on the customers face, focusing more on his broad back and the way he’s disrupting the order of the products on the shelves. (Jihoon will make Junhui fix those later.)

 

It’s only when the man comes near, arms full with junk food and sweets does he realize who he is.

 

 _It’s his soulmate_.

 

“This would be ₩24,000, sir,” Jihoon says as he starts placing his items in a paper bag. The man hands him a few crisp bills, no need for any change and moves to hand him his items.

 

Jihoon drops the money given to him, the bills fluttering down to the ground. He utters a small, “Sorry.” Clenching his hands as he berates himself for his small blunder.

 

His soulmate bends down to pick them up and hands it to Jihoon once more. “It’s alright.”

 

 “Here you go,” his soulmate says as he flashes him a small grin. Jihoon curls his hands on the counter top, wondering if this is the lifetime where they find each other. “Thank you.”

 

Jihoon is about to open his mouth and speak, about to introduce himself to the one person he’s been waiting for all these past lifetimes. But he stops short when he catches a glint of something shining on Soonyoung’s right hand.

 

_Gold._

 

“Thank you for your patronage,” Jihoon bows and his soulmates nods at him before walking out the store.

 

And out of Jihoon’s life once more.

 

 

 

_But when all’s said and done, I’d rather surrender to you in other ways._

 

 

 

Soonyoung can feel the edge of a blade stick itself under the curve of his jaw, a rough palm covering his mouth and nose and the touch of lips against his ear.

 

“Don’t move,” the voice whispers. “I wouldn’t want for you to dirty your suit, agent.”

 

The weight of Soonyoung’s gun presses itself against his thigh but Soonyoung knows that he won’t be able to use it in time. He’s overpowered, alone and with no means of contact or possible escape. It doesn’t help that he has no idea as to who his assailant is.

 

Soonyoung breathes thinly through his nose, before relaxing in his attacker’s hold and bringing his head back with as much force as usual. There’s a satisfying crunch sound when Soonyoung’s head makes contact his assailant and he uses the opportunity to pivot his leg back to push him away.

 

His attacker jumps to the side, expecting his next maneuver. Soonyoung turns around to get a look at his attacker, knowing that the room is illuminated by the seeping moonlight.

 

There’s an angel in the room.

 

Soonyoung is sorry to say that his assailant is one of the most beautiful beings he’s ever seen. And he’s traveled all around the world for his job as an agent.

 

There’s a word running through the forefront of his mind, a word that he’s not brave enough to say out loud.

 

“Soulmate,” his assailant says. He lowers his knife and stands tall, “You’re my soulmate.”

 

Soonyoung takes his time studying the other male, the way his body is wired and tensed up for a fight, the way he shifts from side to side due to the sudden revelation. He wants to tell him so much, wants to know more about him, wants to hear his voice from behind his mask and see his eyes without the glimmer of a fight within them.

 

“You should go,” his soulmate says, sheathing his knife back. “This place will explode in a few minutes and I don’t want you to die.”

 

His soulmate takes a step back before running away, lithe body making his way towards the broken windows.

 

“Wait!” Soonyoung calls out, abandoning protocol for a quick moment and turning his earpiece off. “What’s your name?”

 

His soulmate hesitates with his answer, body curled at the window sill as if he was a bird about to take flight. “Lee Jihoon,” he says.

 

“Kwon Soonyoung.” He feels cold.

 

Jihoon nods at him and sends him one last look before leaving. “Goodbye.”

 

 

 

_Even though each time, I know I’ll see you again, I always wonder: is this the last time? Is that really you?_

 

 

 

“Here’s your next patient, Dr. Lee,” Seokmin says as he leads Jihoon to the operating room. “Open Heart surgery for Mr. Kwon. He’s in OR 0615.”

 

Jihoon nods as he disinfects his hands and pulls on the gloves given to him. Seokmin leads him to the room and Jihoon enters, only for him to stop short at the sight of the man lying down on the table.

 

 _It’s him._ Jihoon struggles to keep his composure in front of his team. _Why does fate delight in punishing him like this?_

 

He can feel his hands shake while he does the operation, making Jihoon bite his cheek as he tries his best to save him. 

 

Jihoon fails the procedure and his soulmate dies. He saves his tears until the time when he can cry in private and instead, he takes the silver ring on his soulmate’s finger and slips it around his own.

 

Surgeons have no need for jewelry but this is the only exception that he'll make.

 

 

 

_Ah, but I don't blame you; I'll never burn as brilliantly as you._

 

 

 

Kwon Soonyoung has a nice voice. Jihoon peeks at him through the window as he auditions for the company he's in. He knows that it's him as soon as he hears Soonyoung's voice, the sound being one of the constants in his dreams as of late. 

 

Jihoon believes that it is the first time they’re of the same age. He meets his soulmate the day of his audition in Pledis Entertainment.

 

As he watches the young boy sing his heart out to one of his favorite songs, Jihoon wonders if this is the lifetime where everything turns out fine.

 

“Why don’t you tell him?” Seungcheol asks, on a day where they’re not shooting for 17TV and are now alone out in the streets. “Soonyoung is your soulmate, right?”

 

“He is,” Jihoon nods.

 

Seungcheol frowns. “Then tell him! He’s been at the company for three months and you haven’t said a single thing to him other than your name.”

 

Jihoon is scared. “I’m scared, okay? We’ve never met properly before.”

 

He remembers their past lives, all of the instances where they met but never had the chance. Jihoon doesn’t want that to happen again.

 

“What if something goes wrong? I don’t want to set myself up for disappointment.”

 

The elder makes a thoughtful hum, Jihoon wrinkles his nose at the sharp sound. “You don’t know what you’re missing, Jihoon. Don’t give up before you actually try.”

 

And so, he does.

 

Jihoon takes the first step and introduces himself to Soonyoung. His soulmate looks at him with stars in his eyes. “I thought you forgot about us again.”

 

Soonyoung laughs, a sound he never got to experience before in his other lives. "I'm glad that's not the case this time."

 

Jihoon says goodbye to his homeroom teacher, to the young juvenile in the station, to the married man in the store and to the dying man on the bed. 

 

Instead, he says hello to Kwon Soonyoung and for the first time, Kwon Soonyoung says it back.

 

“I found you.”

 

 

_It's only fair that I should be the one to chase you across ten, twenty-five, a hundred lifetimes, until I find the one where you'll return to me._

 

**Author's Note:**

> thank you for reading!
> 
> i wrote this during class hours so it's really,,,, uh yeah lol i hope you enjoyed it though uwu
> 
>  
> 
> [ twt ](https://mobile.twitter.com/soonhoonlovebot)|[ cc ](https://curiouscat.me/orangecarat)


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